Yue

 22nd October

19:23 GMT +8

I look up at the restaurant's frontage. Yifei Jade smirks as she watches my face for my reaction, while Nguyen Jade is carefully keeping her face blank.

"Oooooh, very funny."

Before I came here, I'd eaten Chinese food in a restaurant… Twice, I think? Once for an office pre-Christmas gathering and again with my family. On neither occasion was I exactly impressed. But; okay, restaurant eating isn't 'normal' eating. Maybe being completely surrounded by Chinese culture for a year would help me get into it?

Nope.

I abuse my barbarian status ruthlessly in order to use a fork and a knife whenever I go out to eat. It took months for Jade to stop giving me the evils when she found out. I can use chopsticks, even without using a power ring to grip the blasted things. But why would I when a fork does the job better? If I'm picking the restaurant I generally choose somewhere Indian. As Britain had far less success confronting a unified India than it did a divided one the cultural exchange that resulted in the curry I know never really happened, but they're still far closer to what I'm used to than anything else on this world.

But tonight Jade has decided that we're going for an English.

The grinning pie merchant on the sign is wearing chef whites. Which are French. With no imperial-age competition relations between Britain and France are pretty good, far better than I would have expected given how they were when British culture was as it.. is.. now. In addition to the chef's hat he's wearing a crown and a golden chain. The place is called Aethelred's Pie Emporium and -ring?- it's written in English with a Chinese approximation underneath.

I'm feeling decidedly nervous about this.

"Is it… Any good..?"

Yifei Jade shrugs. "I've never been here before. I thought we could experience the-" She holds up a leaflet. "-'wonders of traditional English cookery' together for the first time."

Nguyen Jade already has her personal organiser out. "Reviews are generally favourable. Though apparently we should avoid the 'Star Gaze Pie."

"You can just cut the heads off, it's not really that weird." I look around-. We've already drawn something of a crowd, though Yifei Jade's status means that they aren't asking us for autographs or anything. Though given what Yifei Jade is wearing they might just want a look. Nguyen Jade dressed surprisingly conservatively, though she is wearing more makeup than I'm used to. I'm wearing an Earth-Prime style suit of a kind which doesn't exactly exist here. But again, being a barbarian has its advantages. "How did you get a reservation this quick-" Yifei Jade starts to laugh again, while Nguyen Jade appears to be trying to work out whether I'm serious or not. "-ly?"

Yifei Jade leans into my right hand side, reaching across to pat my chest with her right hand. "It wasn't a problem. Shall we?"

Jade and I let Jade take the lead-. Oh, I need to come up with pet names or something. This is silly. Maybe I can just refer to them both as 'Miss'… Which would work until we actually get married.

Miss Nguyen and I let Miss Yifei take the lead as she pushes through the front door and into-. Oh, what the heck? The interior decoration isn't bad, though with that much bare stone it will probably be expensive to heat during the winter. But the miniskirted pseudo-Beefeater waitresses are throwing me off, as are the… Ugh, the longswords and claymores which decorate the walls, lending the interior a surprisingly martial.. castley theme. The staff are mostly European, and someone whom I assume is the manager is already bowing to Miss Yifei and gesturing to a windowside table in the corner of the room.

Miss Nguyen sidles up to me on my left. "How cringe worthy is it?"

"It could be wor-." I spot a waiter dressed as a Morris Dancer, including bells and handkerchiefs. "I'll live."

Miss Yifei has been given the place facing the door and with the best views of the restaurant interior. I hesitate for a moment, then Miss Nguyen flickers her eyes at the next seat and I take my cue and sit down. Miss Nguyen has barely sat down on my left before the manager -not quite running but certainly hurrying- returns with our menus.

I smile at him. "Thank you."

He bows, a full right angle from the waist job. "You are welcome, sir."

Oh… Right. I've got that to look forward to. The downside to being important enough that I don't have to bow to anyone is that a lot of them are going to feel obliged to bow to me.

Miss Yifei is already looking over the drinks menu. "I don't know these tea blends." She gives a small shrug and then looks at me. "Which do you think is best?"

"Ahhhh." I… Don't know anything about tea. Britain is still a nation of tea-drinkers here, but for obvious reasons British tea brands don't get sold to China. I'm.. assuming that these are sourced locally based on blends popular in Britain… "I think.. Earl Grey is.. generally well regarded?"

Miss Nguyen looks for a moment as if she wants to interject before my horrible taste in boiled leaves ruins everything. Miss Yifei just nods and raises her eyebrows slightly. "What do you suggest?"

"I'm going to be drinking apple juice. British craft beer is pretty good… But…"

"You don't drink alcohol so can't point anything out."

"Yes. British-" I notice the manager giving me a slightly odd look. Why-? I'm not deferring or calling her 'my lady'. "-wine isn't great, but the Spanish and French varieties are probably perfectly palatable. Though again, I can't really…"

I shrug and she nods. "Two.. apple juices, then. Jade?"

"I'll just have.. sour plum juice."

"Oh, come on! The whole point of coming to a foreign restaurant is to try new things. You can't just drink what you'd drink normal-. Normally."

Miss Nguyen is already doing a sort of sitting bow. "Of course, my-"

"No, I didn't-"

"-lady."

"-mean it like, I-."

I look directly at the manager and lean slightly forwards. "Two apple juice, one sour plum juice and don't rush back."

"Yes sir." He bows again, turns and strides away from the table.

Miss Nguyen is clearly tense, rigidly sitting straight up. Miss Yifei on the other hand is slightly slumped, her eyes avoiding both of us. I take a privacy filter out of subspace, set it to two metres and then set it in the centre of the table. The restaurant noise drops to nothing immediately, neatly taking care of the 'public disrespect' angle.

"Jade." I lay my right hand on Miss Yifei's left. "Jade isn't used to you yet. Please -for now- try to avoid giving instructions that she feels obliged to defer to."

"Yeah, I-" She looks across to Miss Nguyen. "-didn't mean it like that. I just meant that it's... That I think it's boring to go somewhere new and then.. do what you'd have done anyway. I wasn't ordering you to drink something else."

Miss Nguyen nods stiffly. "I apologise. I should have realised."

"No, don't-." Miss Yifei sighs. "This is-."

I nod. "That's not really something you want in your personal life. Jade,-" I put my left hand on Miss Nguyen's right shoulder and give her a small shake in an attempt to encourage her to become less stiff. "-do you think you can do that?"

"I-." She nods, looking Miss Yifei directly in the eye. "Yes. I will. I'm-."

"Oh no, don't apologise. This… I've tried to have relationships before, and they always… Since I've been Mandated, whoever I'm with just starts doing that and... And then I found out that Captain Marvel was really twelve, and…"

I nod. "You stopped trying."

"And that's why-" She rotates her left hand so that we're holding hands. "-I want this to work. You.. never have and-" She stands and leans across the table, holding her right hand out to Miss Nguyen. "-I really hope you don't feel you have to."

Some of the tension leaves Miss Nguyen. She also stands and extends her right arm, clasping hands in a barbarian handshake. "Thank you, Jade. I will try."

I smile as they sit back down. "Great! Now what pies do people want?"