Yue

21st November

11:21 GMT -5

UUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHH…

When I was in Primary School, I had a verruca. Actually, I had several, but one in particular stubbornly refused to die. No matter how much cream I applied or how I savaged it with a pumice stone, it stayed attached to my foot. In the end, Mum took me to the doctor to have it frozen off.

That hurt a lot. But just on my foot.

THIS! HURTS! EVERYWHERE!

I think I fell over, but I didn't put all that many nerves in this body and I think Jade shooting me with a weapon designed to burn demons to annihilation has killed off a lot of them. Eyes are gone, along with the parts of my ear responsible for balance. Honestly, I'm a little surprised that my brain is still working.

AAAAAAGHHH!

Right… First step…

I think something is happening when I try moving my arms, but I've got no way to tell for certain. Okay… Need for subterfuge past. Call my rings, fix myself up…

Or… The guards would have heard Satanus trying to talk me around. Would it be better to try and stay-.

Ow. What? No, of course it would… N't…

Oh. I was… I said…

Rings now.

I don't feel anything with my skin, but eyes are back. Jade's standing over me with the Ace pointed at where my centre of mass should be. Mr Blood is crouching down next to her, right hand on his circle. Can't see any of the others. Jade's mouth is moving, but… No ears yet.

Okay rings, bit of a test for you. How fast can you restore my body when I really really want-.

Task complete.

"…listening now?"

And that pain's gone.

"Up up up." I use the rings' flight function to yank myself upright and-. Ah, clothes. And basic armour-.

Mr Blood grimaces. "And you couldn't offer me any-?" An orange beam leaves him… I think I bought that in Vietnam. It more or less fits. "Thank you."

"What-?" Jade sights along the barrel of the Ace at my head. "Ah. You can shoot me again if you want… "

"Think she's mostly-" Ambrose strolls back around. "-wondering if you're you again."

"I… Think so? Satanus was pumping Mammon into me. I worked it out just as I got to Masak Mavdil, but at that point I'd... Got far enough along that it didn't bother me." I take a half-step forward and push my right arm through the air above the magic circle. No response. Next, I hold out my left hand and float up my personal lantern. "Any other tests that you want to run?"

Mr Blood stands back. "You're certainly not a demon any longer. I'm not entirely sure what you are-."

"Constantine."

"Say no more."

Jade lowers the Ace, then looks pointedly at me with her head tilted slightly to the left. "And is there something you'd like to say to-?"

"Oh goodness me, I tried hitting on Harm." Uruhggh.

"-me?"

I grimace. "What was I thinking?"

Jade frowns. "You hit on Harm? Being a demon… Made you gay."

"No, I'm bisexual all the time. I just… As I became more demonic, certain things… Seemed less significant."

"Like people who can't provide 'a reasonable return on your investment in time and resources'?"

I step forward, delicately place my hands on her sides and gently kiss her on the lips. "Jade, you are not an investment vehicle. I do not do things for you in the expectation that you will do things for me in return, and I do not love you in order to demand that you love me back with equal fervour. I simply do, as a product of me being me and you-."

Her face switches back to neutral. "Okay. He's back."

"-being you. Did Satanus go home?"

A golden ankh appears in the air in front of Mammon, John stepping through a moment later. "He did. Right back to his office in the Newstime building, right in front of two members of the Justice League and five members of the Metropolis police department. Investigating a 'mysterious display of brilliant lights'. Given how you were acting up, I'm a little bit surprised that you didn't warn him."

"I nearly did. And the Congregationalists?"

"Long gone by the time anyone arrived. That part went fine, but there's a small army of Satanus's soldiers coming this way and I don't think they're going to be impressed with their employer vanishing."

Mr Blood shrugs. "I'm sure that Etrigan will enjoy tearing them apart."

"No, no, no, look-." Jade raises the Ace and I neatly turn it aside. "Not demon-me talking, but I'm not going to destroy someone's soul because they don't want to live in a place like Limbo used to be. We just need to offer them someone who can run the spells Satanus used to hijack the First's link to the Silver City. I can't do it." I look at the three magicians. "Any of you feel like volunteering?"

"I don't think that's a good-." / "Fuck no." / "One demon is quite enou-."

"Great. Chantinelle and Blaze can't do it… Mr Cassidy doesn't have the arcane knowledge the post would require… I'm not letting the First go free and Sterocax is a moron." I look up at Mammohgreat. "Is he alive?"

Ambrose shrugs. "Drained to the point that he can't remain conscious. He'll probably recover."

"Jade, can I borrow the Sword please?"

She stows the Ace, then pulls the Sword from its sheath and holds it out to me.

"Thank you."

I float upwards, heading for the chains holding Mammon up. The chains part easily enough, and I create a harness construct to hold his near-carcass up as he slumps forward.

"Wakey wakey." I deposit him against one wall and remove the harness. "Rise and shine." I pass the Sword back to Jade, and hover just in front of Mammon's face. "I've got a deal to offer you."

"HHhhhhhhhrrrrrruuhhhh."

He blinks, and his eyes slowly focus on me.

"Then speak, mortal."