Yue

 11th January

13:23 GMT

"I read your report, but seeing it directly adds to the ridiculousness of the artefact."

Hinon and I stand on the moon, staring at my toilet.

"Do you even go to the toilet?"

"Not that one. You haven't plumbed it in."

"I'd have to give the moon an atmosphere." I look around the largely desolate lunar surface. "And while I could, I didn't think the time and effort involved were worthwhile."

"At least you retained some semblance of sense."

"No. No. No, not really. I mean, this is where I shut down my environmental shield while in a near-vacuum." And hid the Star Sapphire. Actually… "That reminds me, were you able to smooth things over with the Zamarons?"

"No, I was not." She sighs. "I've no idea what happened to them. They used to be such reasonable women. Only Nadia would speak to me at all, and she made it pretty clear that she was doing it on sufferance. Such a disappointment."

"Because all of the colours working together is more effective than any one of them?"

That earns me a glare. "No, because they were my friends and colleagues, you oafish ape-man. They were supposed to be researchers, then I lie down for a few centuries and when I wake up Aga'po is calling herself 'Queen' and they've gone from researching the violet light to researching.. breeding with mortals."

"Not it."

"What? No, I wasn't volunteering you. They've still got some taste."

"Yeah, and so have I. I've seen Zamarons. Also, I'm in a happy, long term, monogamous relationship."

"Yes, that must be why she has just moved to the other side of the galaxy from your homeworld."

"That's professional development. She has a career."

"I remember having sexual urges. They're supposed to be at their most intense during the early stages of the relationship. An evolutionary development to compel developmental stability for infants in species using the K reproductive strategy."

"It'll be a few years before we reproduce, Hinon."

"That's not the point. The point is the instinctive way horny animals respond to one another-."

"Hinon, I'm an enlightened empath. Quite aside from the fact that I know exactly how much my own sex drive influences my thinking, I know exactly how interested in me she is." I frown. "Do you.. have children yourself?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. It was a while ago, though."

"Huh."

"Yes." She frowns faintly as she stretches her memory back to however long ago it was. "At the time, the consensus was that reproducing to replacement values was a reasonable course of action. I seem to remember that the process was satisfactory."

Satisfactory..? "What.. reproductive strategy did the ancient Maltusians use again?"

"Technically, 'K', but by the time I became an adult we'd been more or less as we are today for longer than we'd been anything else, so it was all rather irrelevant. Desire."

"I'm sorry? Desire was irrelevant?"

"The one who spoke to you here. Desire. The Endless." She looks at me with mild frustration. "Do try to remember why we're here."

Desire. The only thing I remember about Desire from Sandman was that… They are a hermaphrodite, or.. something, they.. helped that iron age tribeswoman marry the chief's son and probably had something to do with him getting killed the next day, and failed to tempt Emperor Norton to do… Something. The plot was rather Dream-focused.

"Is that a problem?"

"Think about it for a moment. You may well exist in perfect equilibrium with your desires now, but how would you characterise how you felt when you came here?"

I nod. "We were a confused mess."

"And this was when and where Desire chose to visit you. Not before, when you were struggling with your ring. Not afterwards, when you were at peace with it. When you were at your lowest ebb."

"At my most entertaining."

Guess Desire is a bitchhole, then. At least I appear to have become boring enough that they haven't put in another appearance.

"Just report any future contact and you should be alright."

"Really?"

"No. But it can't-" My ring blinks. "-hurt. Much."

I hold out my left hand. "Orange Lantern."

Alan's face appears. "Good morning, Paul. Good to see you back."

"It was just a couple of days, Alan."

"Last time you went there you got into a fight with a Qwardian living weapon." I shrug. In this line of work... He nods, smiling. "Yeah, I guess. Just part of the job. So, you just calling to shoot the breeze?"

"No. I was concerned about the possible effects of prolonged orange light exposure, so I talked Controller Hinon into visiting. Would it be possible for her to meet with you today?"

"Ah… Sure…"

"Problem?"

"I'm spending the day on the Watchtower. I'm sure she's.. trustworthy, but there're protocols…"

"Alan, she could build the Watchtower." Hm. "Actually, she could probably bring it back to full working order if you asked nicely."

"What d'you call what it is now?"

"'Approved for export' mode. You know the Green Lanterns only got the sensors turned back on when Salaak confirmed that we'd had Star Conquerors around."

He nods. "You've got a point. I'll.. run it by Diana and Batman, see what they say. Call you back when we've talked it through."

"Rightoh. Talk to you later."

His face vanishes-.

"Did you just volunteer me for manual labour?"