TOTALLY NOT DRUG TRAFFICKING

 

8th February

13:55 GMT

A crowd is gathering around the main entrance to the palace as King Myand'r and Queen Luand'r proceed out, looking up as-.

The supplicant goes to the one in the position of power. They're about to fly up to me, and that won't do at all. Instead, I transition down onto the step a short distance in front of them and bow. Not a full ninety degree job, that would probably be a bit much. But fifty degrees is fine for a national hero and senior Lantern when faced with the local monarchs.

"Your majesties."

I can hear a murmur from the crowd as Luand'r puts her right hand on my right shoulder.

"Orange Lantern, you have no need to abase yourself before us."

I straighten, smiling. Since I'm a few steps down from them, my head is slightly below theirs. I'm not exactly sure how that looks to Tamaraneans, but humanoids tend to think about body language in fairly similar ways.

"Thank you, your majesty. As I approached the planet I was able to admire the work which the Tamaranean people have done since I left. I'm pleased that you've been able to take full advantage of the opportunity presented to you."

"If not for you then we would still be under the Citadel's boot heel. All that we have been able to build, we owe to you."

I shake my head. "Perhaps that you can build it now, but I do not believe for a moment that the people of Tamaran would have been in such a situation forever. You would have freed yourselves eventually. I just sped it up so that we could all get on with our lives." I look up and beckon Lantern Xor to join us. He floats down, stopping a pace back from me. Stopping in the air; his feet are far too large to fit on these steps. "This is Lantern Xor, my new ex-student. He's desperate to learn what an honourable ruler looks like. Would you mind him shadowing you for a few days so that he can find out?"

Myand'r blinks, his head tilted slightly to the side. Then he nods definitively. "Yes, of course. We would be delighted to show him how Tamaran is governed."

Glancing at me, Xor brings his fists together in front of his chest. "Thank you. I relish the opportunity."

Luand'r steps aside and gestures to the doorway. "Please, come inside. We have a great deal to talk about."

I walk up the steps separating us, Xor landing as I reach the top. "Thank you."

The two of us follow them inside, Komand'r and Blake flying off to return to whatever they were doing before we arrived. Curious that Myand'r and Luand'r aren't flying. But I suppose that the ground level of the palace is designed for foot traffic more than the upper parts.

"I appreciate your renewed efforts to boost our standing." Myand'r tilts his head towards me as he speaks. "But that was a bit much."

"How so?"

"You made it look like we were insulting you by demanding your deference, despite everything you've done for us. That might not be so bad were we in a stronger position, but as things stand it made us look undeservedly proud and arrogant."

"Oh. Ah, sorry. I can publically hit you in the face with a custard pie later if that would make up for it."

"What?"

"It's a form of comedic humiliation from Earth. The target looks a little stupid, but it's generally considered to be a minor embarrassment that a reasonable person should laugh off and so demonstrate that they aren't hidebound."

"Unfortunately, no such ritual exists on Tamaran. I would worry that people might think that you were genuinely attacking me."

"Alright, what sort of things do Tamaranean aristocrats who are on good terms with one another do together?"

"Trade on favourable terms with one another. Encourage their children to marry-. Though I do remember that you do not look kindly on that practice."

"No. Also, it will be at least five years before I have children."

"I hadn't realised that there were any humanoid species with so long a gestation period. Or are humans only infrequently fertile?"

"My girlfriend and I are participating in NEMO's war with the Reach. Given our roles, it's not really going to be practical for us to have children for at least that long."

Luand'r starts slightly. "Practical? I knew from Adam that humans are not as given to indulging their passions as we are, but really."

"Jade needs an opportunity to establish a professional role for herself. Much as I'd like to spend more time with her, this is the best for our relationship in the long term."

Myand'r shakes his head. "I'm sure you know more about human courtship than I do. Having other Orange Lanterns here would be a reasonable alternative; a sign of your personal investment in our freedom."

"Lantern Mother of Mercy is available, but she's not exactly social."

"If I invite her to spend some time in the palace, she can leave at the end of the span without either of us being embarrassed."

"Lantern Mother of Mercy covers the entire surface of a planet. You'd have to expand the palace quite a bit for her to fit."

"A planet?" I nod. "Could Lantern Xor stay?"

"No." Xor shakes his head firmly. "It will take a few days for my comrades to fly back to Alignment space. It would be dishonourable for me to abandon the fight after taking it up."

Hm. "What else does Tamaran need?"

"Teachers and electronics engineers, those are the areas where we are most in need. We managed to maintain… Reasonable records of our medical advances, and the thanagarians have been happy to help us build examples of our more sophisticated equipment. But truly becoming as advanced as we were in our prime requires our knowledge to spread more rapidly than we can make happen with our limited pool of educated people."

I can't think of anyone in DC who had that sort of passion for teaching.

I nod. "I'll see what I can do."

Myand'r sighs. "But giving us more things won't serve the same purpose as a proxy would. It simply makes us more obliged to you."

Right. What has Tamaran got that people on Earth-

We walk past a corridor. Glancing down it I see a group of athletic Tamaraneans in the traditional clothing of underwear and tassels.

-want-.

In the privacy of my own head, I wince at the obvious association. Something else, something-.

"There are a couple of projects you could help me with."

"Oh?"

"Last year I talked one of Earth's more isolationist communities into sending a theatre troupe outside their country on a tour. Aside from an unfortunate event during their first performance, it went rather well. I'd quite like to do an exhibition on Tamaranean culture and history, give the people of Earth a look at what's going on off their world. I'm afraid that it probably won't lead to any new trading opportunities; the distance is just too great."

"I'm sure that we can put something together. Do you benefit in some way from such an exhibit?"

"I own a company which is making a role play game based on recent Vega history. A group of aliens visiting would be an amazing piece of advertising."

"Role play game? I understand the words, but I suspect that you are referring to a specific artefact."

"Ah, how to explain it..?"