Yue

24th December

09:21 GMT -5

"Are you.. sure this is how you want to spend your Christmas?"

Thomas shrugs as we trudge through the New England snow towards the sparring area. "Nah man. But if the boys back in Belle Reve fihnd owt all we did wuz go t' some shindig at Ma Sivana's house, my rep's gown."

I thought it was rather nice of the legitimate side of the Sivana family to invite Thomas and Tuppence to spend this Christmas with them. And since it makes the Governor of Louisiana happy and reduces the chance of him being motivated to try pardoning them, Ms Waller was willing to sign off on a three day pass for them both. Heck, she didn't even ask me to guarantee it this time.

I'd have made a crack about turning her into a liberal, but I'm not sure that she wouldn't have changed her mind just to spite me.

"The Sivana household is noted for producing noteworthy supervillains. Even the younger children are wanted for a laundry list of crimes."

"Yeyeh, but Ma Sivana's an accountant or something. I don't think folks gonna see it that way."

"She's.. not an accountant. She's an auditor."

He gives me a blank look, and the ground shakes beneath us. We both ignore it.

"Basically, she makes sure that companies aren't lying to people about how much money they're making or how much money they owe." He's still looking blank. But he doesn't seem irritated about it, which is progress. "Like a parole officer, but for big companies rather than people."

He grins. "Oh!"

"Although given her seniority, it's more like she's a supervisor for a bunch of parole officers rather than doing it herself."

The ground shakes again.

"How'd she meet… Y'know… Ah mean, y'all don't get t'be a parole.. auditor by hanging out with no supervillains."

"They met in college, and divorced when he went full career criminal. He actually tried making money legitimately with his inventions before that."

"That not work out so good? Ah mean, if he finished up a supervillain…"

"It didn't work out so good. I'm still not really sure why; the man's antisocial but his work's brilliant."

Thomas frowns in thought. I wait for a moment.

"That's the present tense."

"Ah. Yes?"

"Abra did this whole tawk on different ways a' sayin' stuff 'cause of when it happens. 'His work's brilliant' means 'his work raight now's brilliant'. Not his work back then."

"I've never been much good at formal English."

"An' alla the stuff you saw on Venus, that wuz old stuff."

"None of it was new, certainly."

His eyes widen. "You been seein' him!"

I keep my face calm. "Do you want me to say something you might have to lie about to Warden Waller?"

"You didn't put him in no prison."

"If I knew a mad scientist, and I was reasonably confident that he wasn't about to launch any random attacks on civilisation, and I had something I needed him to do, I would have no pressing reason to imprison him."

"Y'all got him workin' fer you?"

"I have received certain information-" Tuppence's head appears over the rise a little way in front, and I wave as she falls back towards the ground. "-that the Earth is facing an invasion from the future in the not-too-distant future. Also, I don't really-." Kraft and all of their malevolent minions have all but capitulated on the Cadbury's matter but I haven't bought it yet, and when The Vega Project starts work I'll be an investor rather than an employer. "-employ people. Certain classes of supervillain become exceedingly unreasonable if they think someone is telling them what to do."

"Oochff!"

Donna slams into the rise in an explosion of snow and earth, then bounces before coming to rest just in front of us. She takes a couple of breaths, then pushes herself up.

"You alright there? Because if you want to swap out-?"

"Yeah." She clambers to her feet. "Just took me-. I mean, her punches are usually so clumsy. I wasn't ready for her to actually get it right."

I wait for Thomas to leap to his sister's defence, but he doesn't look like-. Oh, come on. I know she's breathing heavily in sweaty, tight-fitting exercise clothes and she's basically a younger copy of the most attractive woman on the planet, but that's no reason-

She rises off the ground slightly and flies back in the direction of our ersatz sparring arena.

-to stare like an uncultured brute-.

I look at Thomas again.

Ah.

My first instinct is to take the piss. Something about clubbing her over the head and dragging her back to his cave. But… That's a bad idea here. I remember reading the comic where Da Bomb actually tried that with Power Girl… Plus, me taking the piss is just going to push him away.

"I'm not saying that she's out of your league-"

He tears his eyes away as she drops out of view. "Huh?"

"-but she's probably out of your division."

"Ahhh…"

Is he-? Oh goodness me, he's actually blushing. Right, really don't take the piss.

He shrugs, slumping slightly. "Aw, hell man. I know thayet. It was jus'-."

"Yeah, she was suddenly right there." He nods, looking slightly relieved. "I remember the first time I met Wonder Woman. By the time I got to her face she was like-." I raise my eyebrows slightly and tilt my head forward, a placid but mildly amused expression on my face.

He chuckles, nodding. "I don't-." He immediately sombres up. "Doc Quinzel says we should tawk about our feelin's an' stuff?"

"Yes, that's.. probably a good idea?"

"Kissed a girl one time. I didn't mean-. We wuz friends, growin' up? I liked her an' she liked me…" He stands there awkwardly for a moment. "Next day her mouth wuz all bruised up, like someone hit her with a bat. Her folks didn't want her to have nothin' t'do with me."

I nod. "Doctor Munro mentioned having a similar problem."

"But… Girl who's super strong lihk me an' Tuppy… An' ain't Devastation, 'cause-."

I nod. "You don't need to explain that one. Though I should point out that they're technically sisters."

Thomas boggles for a moment, blinks, then shakes his head as if trying to dislodge the image I just put there.

"Aw mahn, that is some bull shit!"